Children sometimes, oftentimes see change or speaking a family truth as a betrayal to family. Have you ever had a situation where your child did or said something contrary to what you were accustomed to? Such as wear different clothes, be different in any way with views and opinions, find different avenues for success, eat differently, or embrace another way of seeing things. What was your reaction? Did you embrace it, allowing your child to explore the inner depths of life and self or did you shun it because you simply didn’t understand it? There are a few things I know are for sure:
- Children should explore life in a healthy way
- if you don’t allow them or assist them in processing whatever they are interested in exploring, they will figure it out on their own and/or rebel
So, I know many parents want to be closer to their children. Well, one way is to teach them that you support what they do as long as it is not destructive to the family , themselves or will hurt them mentally, spiritually or physically. We need to get to the depths of getting youth to analyze their own ideas. Let’s say your child comes home and wants to explore the GOTH look. What would you say and how would you react? In years past I probably would have been like “oh, its just a phase and weird”. Now I have the spiritual maturity to compliment my child on being bold enough to explore something that is considered different because it takes a lot of gumption to do that. Then I’d ask questions like “what solidified your decision explore this feeling?” “what are some of your feelings around these changes?” You see where I am getting at. Before you ask, do research and find more information so you are coming from an informed place. I mean its hard enough to be a kid in these days because there are so many pressures and so much information that confusion is inevitable. So we want to be supportive, not pressure them because of our own expectations and ways of seeing things. We are living in our children’s time, not our own.
Consider this approach with subjects like college, sexuality, work, money, or whatever comes up. Ultimately, we have to do things a little differently in order to support generations in breaking cycles of the past. This may be one healthy way to start.
I’d love to hear your feedback and perhaps alternative approaches. Please visit www.cecileedwards.com where you can find various products and services around empowering women and destroying generational curses as well as self-care. I appreciate you for reading.