Self care=self love

Ok ladies, self care and self love are one and the same.  When you say you love someone you instinctually want to care for them, feed them, ensure they rest, get mad at them for going to work while ill, etc. etc.  However when it comes to our own well being… we fall short?  Have we fallen for our own mental barriers to ensuring we exercise, drink enough water, spend alone time and eat well?  Mental barriers are real so I will not minimize the effects these have on our ability to act. However let’s break down some of the most common barriers and I will also give you tips to get around them.

Barrier #1:  I don’t have enough time.

This is what I found.  There are 24 hours in a day. Subtract 8, that is 16.  8-10 of those are spent at work leaving 6-8 hours for doing something for your self! I am assuming you sleep 8 hours, however I would recommend that if you have trouble sleeping to lay in your bed anyway as this is self-care!  Just one hour….just one hour to yourself, sitting in a bath tub with some epsom salt and essential oils, light a candle and just let your thoughts run.  However, be mindful of what is running in your mind and process it.  Take another 1o mins when you get out of the shower to write in your journal or write while in the tub if you can…..this simple act is self care and will leave you refreshed and take a load off.

Barrier #2: I don’t have money.

How can one build this into a budget?  Personally I feel and have a budget for my self care.  Each pay period, if you put aside 20 dollars to purchase yourself a new body scrub or accumulate funds to get something you would like…that is self care.  If when you have surplus money you pay ahead for your gym membership, that is self care.  However, it is also self-care to cook a new dish, bake a new pastry (using creativity is self care).  Unfortunately our society has put a price on everything….and therefore we feel that we have to pay a price for the simplest things.  Taking a walk outside, jogging outside,talking to a beloved friend or elder, burning a candle or incense and sitting in silence are all cost free.  If you have the internet Youtube has a plethora of yoga videos, etc that will help you relax your mind and spirit.  Another thing I did was to ensure I cut unnecessary spending from my budget and cut bills like high phone bills by calling and asking for reductions in bills for loyalty, etc.  It work!

Barrier #3: I don’t have childcare.

If you build bath time into your regular practice or expect your partner or ask your friends or relatives to assist with children while you take some time to yourself, you have childcare.  Don’t abuse the time they give you, esp. friends and family as i’m not sure how watching the children could be considered abuse with your spouse…but the simple art of asking for what you want is self care in and of itself. Take that time to go sit alone reading a book, writing in your journal and planning your week.

In society we are taught that our womanhood is attached to how much we take care of others.  I used to subscribe to that thought.  However recently I came into the truth that my life and those around me depends on how well I care for myself first.  The effort taken to develop myself has spilled over into my personal and professional relationships in very nourishing ways.  It has increased my productivity, clarity, connection to spirit and over happiness.  This directly effects my seven year old daughter Nubia, who is a reflection of my best or worst self.  Guess which I choose to have her mimic?

MommyEvolve is committed to having women deconstruct their programs about what they think about their self care and how they care for themselves.  We are committed to co-creating with mothers, their most healthy and happy selves.  Through this, children will be better cared for, protected, taught, loved and happier.

To schedule a discovery consultation to build your personal self care plan based on your unique needs, visit:

With all my love,


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