This is a conversation that has been in my heart to speak. If you or anyone you know has been a first generation college student (or anything else) then the understanding of how you are perceived by those who have not attended college in your family and your reality is intriguing to say the least. When you enter college you are (1) expected to do and know everything from taxes to history from the beginning of time to current events – and after the first semester (2) you are expected to pay everyone’s bills and have money all the time (3) you are expected to be the “saviour” for your family, whatever that may mean or look like for your family or (4) you are expected to fail. Yet, the funny thing is that you end up not being respected for what you learn and can actually bring or your personal growth and discovery of your skills and talents (especially if they are not seen as money makers) is not necessarily supported.
I have seen it and been through some of it too. Well, there are a few ways to look at this. Yes. You are a familial ‘saviour’ and can possibly shift patterns of lack of knowledge that held the family back from achieving, but that may not necessarily show up the way your family thinks it will. It may require your immersion in one area or with a specific group for a while and disconnect from the family. It may require the family being open and receptive and listening to new ideas and discussing them instead of casting them aside. It may require the family changing themselves to adapt. It will require the student herself to discuss their inner with the family and achieve a deeper understanding of self to live freely in and from others expectations. Oftentimes we become so shocked by what others have to say about our progress that it stifles and stagnates us. However we must be clear that every criticism is still a lesson. But it should not weigh us down to the point of inertia. Change requires openness, honesty, dedication, clear and concise communication in all languages necessary, and most of all LOVE in your heart towards the meaning of the task you have been given. This is encouragement to all those seeking to do something out of the ordinary – something defiant to others’ perception of your legacy.
This conversation can be translated to anything one does that can change the trajectory of family (specifically themselves) – starting a business, eating healthier, traveling, marrying differently, loving differently, emotional balancing, wealth building, etc. It may take loneliness. It will take prayer. But essentially you must follow your own heart and know that there is a reason for your changes. Our hearts are never inspired to do something that has no value to humanity and ourselves.
Enjoy your life and don’t be afraid to step out of comfort zones – become a heart that nurtures those who have stepped out of theirs.
Visit http://www.cecileedwards.com to find out more information on intergenerational healing