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Is Your broken Inner child speaking or your liberated adult self?

In therapy circles the inner child is known as the original, untainted child self that is innocent, full of life, inquisitive and all trusting.  Oftentimes we hear of the phrase based on the traumatized inner child awaiting healing and attention so she can return to the original inner child.  It is the subconscious part of us.  I’ve noticed that many people still react to things the way their traumatized inner child would.  For instance, I would spend money I didn’t have thinking “I deserve this” or “I can have this because I worked really hard” (usually said about food but also money).  Or you’ll see neediness, attachment issues,  tantrums and excess impulsiveness – general child like thoughts and behaviors that manifest in adults.  Essentially unhealed inner child allows people to respond from a child like perspective.  We can also see this in many emotional reactions or interactions with our families and jobs.  We cower thinking that some outside force is our protection and never really built up our safety from within. In short, many of us, as adults,  can still operate from a child like perception and response.  I’ve learned how to identify this and I want to share it with you.  The first thing we ALL must do is become aware of our generational patterns (which oftentimes are perceived by us in childhood, but we are not aware), which are lessons and stories passed on to us about who we are, […]

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Do parents ever hold their children back?

Children sometimes, oftentimes see change or speaking a family truth as a betrayal to family.  Have you ever had a situation where your child did or said something contrary to what you were accustomed to?  Such as wear different clothes, be different in any way with views and opinions, find different avenues for success, eat differently, or embrace another way of seeing things.  What was your reaction?  Did you embrace it, allowing your child to explore the inner depths of life and self or did you shun it because you simply didn’t understand it?  There are a few things I know are for sure: Children should explore life in a healthy way if you don’t allow them or assist them in processing whatever they are interested in exploring, they will figure it out on their own and/or rebel So, I know many parents want to be closer to their children.  Well, one way is to teach them that you support what they do as long as it is not destructive to the family , themselves or will hurt them mentally, spiritually or physically.  We need to get to the depths of getting youth to analyze their own ideas.  Let’s say your child comes home and wants to explore the GOTH look.  What would you say and how would you react? In years past I probably would have been like “oh, its just a phase and weird”. Now I have the spiritual maturity […]

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GENERATIONAL CURSES DEFINED TO DESTROY

Hey there beautiful mommies and daughters, I salute you – all day everyday for what you do, how you do it and your continued fight for yourself and/or your current and future children. I’ve been asked the question.  What is a generational curse?  I wanted to clear it up and give examples that are beneficial to you identifying them and their destructive patterns.  As we all have things that plague us that we are working to unravel and give and cease and desist order to, sometimes it’s difficult to spot […]

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DISCOMFORT AND A NEW EXISTENCE

This is a conversation that has been in my heart to speak.  If you or anyone you know has been a first generation college student (or anything else) then the understanding of how you are perceived by those who have not attended college in your family and your reality is intriguing to say the least.  When you enter college you are (1) expected to do and know everything from taxes to history from the beginning of time to current events – and after the first semester (2) you are expected to pay everyone’s bills and have  money all the time (3) you are expected to be the “saviour” for your family, whatever that may mean or look like for your family or (4) you are expected to fail.  Yet, the funny thing is that you end up not being respected for what you learn and can actually bring or your personal growth and discovery of your skills and talents (especially if they are not seen as money makers) is not necessarily supported. I have seen it and been through some of it too.  Well, there are a few ways to look at this. Yes. You are a familial ‘saviour’ and can possibly shift patterns of lack of knowledge that held the family back from achieving, but that may not necessarily show up the way your family thinks it will.  It may require your immersion in one area or with a specific group for a […]

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The conversation with I had with mom.

Through my healing process I have had a life coach.  I participated in various spiritual education processes.  I have also participated in a Healing Intensive via the Womb Sauna.  The intensive was a tipping point.  I was urged to free up my throat chakra by speaking my truth and expressing the hurts I’ve experienced from my mother in order to heal the relationship, express unconditional love (for self and mothers) and grow beyond my own bounds. I had a script that I practiced with Thema, the Womb Sauna owner and guide through the process.  We practiced.  She asked me when I was going to make it happen and I scheduled it for the next day at 12pm.  I held myself accountable by texting my mom to see if she was available for the day and time.  Before the time arrived though, I tried to talk myself out of it.  I really really did.  I said everything you could imagine to get out of it.  “Its not that serious, I don’t need to do that”, “I can do it another day or reschedule it for another time”…but why did this woman who is so educated, has convos about everything under the sun with others, could not muster up the courage to speak to someone I love about setting boundaries around our communications that are essential to shifting our family legacy.  That is a serious issue that too many women deal with. […]

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The Power of recognizing the source of your “personality”

Oftentimes we act in ways that are misunderstood, uncomfortable, stagnant, or “perfect” because of what we were taught.  Many things are a result of our upbringing.  Our childhood reflects much of what we are today.  My personal premise is that many people are still operating from their 5-8 year old selves in emotion.  This is not to blame everything on parents, mainly mothers, but instead to allow a conversation and healing to ensue.  I recognize many of the vestiges presented in the article below within myself and what caused it.  Not that I had an unloving mother, however my spirit and energy certainly called for something a little different than what was offered.  But I still chose well because my resilience is why I am here to assist mothers and daughters in their healing journey.  The journey to heal the vestiges of what I considered an unfulfilling mother/daughter relationship have been a journey to heal foundations of my family bond and has allowed me to build new legacies.  I’ve become empowered through the knowledge and ACTIONS towards shifting the realities.  Read the article below and comment: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201304/daughters-unloving-mothers-7-common-wounds   With Love,   Cecile

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Self care=self love

Ok ladies, self care and self love are one and the same.  When you say you love someone you instinctually want to care for them, feed them, ensure they rest, get mad at them for going to work while ill, etc. etc.  However when it comes to our own well being…..do we fall short?  Have we fallen for our own mental barriers to ensuring we exercise, drink enough water, spend alone time and eat well?  Mental barriers are real so I will not minimize the effects these have on our ability to act. However let’s break down some of the most common barriers and I will also give you tips to get around them. Barrier #1:  I don’t have enough time. This is what I found.  There are 24 hours in a day. Subtract 8, that is 16.  8-10 of those are spent at work leaving 6-8 hours for doing something for your self! I am assuming you sleep 8 hours, however I would recommend that if you have trouble sleeping to lay in your bed anyway as this is self-care!  Just one hour….just one hour to yourself, sitting in a bath tub with some epsom salt and essential oils, light a candle and just let your thoughts run.  However, be mindful of what is running in your mind and process it.  Take another 1o mins when you get out of the shower to write in your journal or write […]

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“Mothering Ourselves”

Mothering is truly the highest calling.  Children believe their MOTHER to be GOD.  As they should.  Mommy gives birth, teachers, steers, gives insight, loves unconditionally, is a constant person children want to lean on and is ever present and even omniscient.   However, many mothers feel out of sorts, discouraged, frantic and overwhelmed.  How are there such low feelings in some about such a high position in society?  First, mothers are given so many messages about what they should be by society, i.e., soccer mom, vixen mom, serious mom, push […]

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Mother’s love begins with themselves……

Mother’s are pulled everywhere.  The children, the home, ensuring everything is in order, bills are paid, clothes are laid, beds are made.  This is a cute rhyme but also a busy reality for MANY women who have chosen to be mothers.  Within all of the mayhem of working we often hear women say…..”I DON’T EVEN HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF?”———It is time to shift that mentality.  We hear about self love often but what does self love mean?  Can we say we love ourselves yet run ourselves ragged….can we say we love ourselves and not eat right or exercise?  can we love ourselves and not take time out for connecting and re-connecting with our creator – Great mother – God – Jesus – Buddah or whatever spiritual entity gives you strength and love, unconditionally.  How can we run around, never stop to hear our inner higher selves  yet proclaim love of self?  This is not a quip that is bent on being harsh or making anyone feel bad.  It is a part of what I do which is to get others to think and align, words with deed!  It is how I have gotten through my misalignment, fear, anxiety, etc.  I knew I was not living in my center, in my truth….in fact I realized that I was running on ‘E’ trying to fuel everyone else.   That kind of craziness can only leave you depleted and defeated.  So what does […]

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