Mothering Ourselves for personal liberation and intergenerational healing

Family relations are the basis for how we understand ourselves.  How our family sees us as children is how we learn to see ourselves as adults.  However, it is my contention and mission that when we grow up we must separate ourselves from unhealthy childhood patterns and concepts in order to connect with our true child-like confidence, curiosity and our adult wisdom.  Generational patterns can be passed through us if we do not take the time to reflect on events, acknowledge our intuition around subjects and unveil to the truth of who we are.  When we unveil and honor ourselves and feelings, we enact the ability to Mother Ourselves.  When we Mother Ourselves, we live in our own divinity.

Irrespective of what your past has been, you can change the trajectory of the future. Irrespective of your present, you can change the trajectory of your future.  

Join me in my #MommyMagic: Healing across generations tele-series, where we will discuss subjects such as “The Mother Wound”, why we need to stop sacrificing ourselves to false ideals, How to honor the mother within via our intuition and much more.  During this series we will be empowered to live our lives as mothers of the earth, through learning that mothering ourselves is the first step.

You can register here for all or part of the series.

With love,

-Cecile

Creative Director, MommyEvolve

Money, Mindset, Mommy

Great day my loves.  It is always a great day to speak money, mindset and mommies making moves.  I have to get real here.  I am intelligent, quick witted and full of creative ideas.  However, I, like many can get caught in the mindset that wealth evades me.  The reason for this is simply – mindset.  I did say I have many skills and talents, besides making wonderful line of MomMeTime Products, MommyEvolve also has many services all of which I created from my essence and talents!  Yet because the wealth I envision has not manifested in the forms I want yet, I call myself unwealthy or am afraid to spend money or think about what I spend so much that it cancels out the blessing and energy of what I just spent.  Yes, you heard me very correctly.  This is not a signal or sign from GOD that you should go out and spend all the money you have…..but it is a clear expression that when you spend money on yourself and then worry about the idea that you spent it – you are telling the universe energy that you don’t like spending money on yourself.  Too many of us do it. Instead of standing in our power, knowing we are wealthy, we loath paying bills, consider money usage as spending instead of circulating and worry about money negatively all the time. Well, these are some of the things I am doing to clear up my money mindset:

  1. Intentionally spend money on myself each time I get paid.  Literally.  Each and every time.  No matter what.  I get something I like….a crystal, some essential oils, some lipstick, my favorite food, a shirt that is pretty, etc. In this way, I feel good about making $$$ because I see it supports me for the better.
  2. I’ve learned through my years that I have to be impeccable with my words.  Because I grew up hearing it, I used to always say “i’m Broke” “Im poor” “I don’t have any money”….those words are filled with a negative spin on how we see money and ourselves.  Now – I say, “I am wealthy”  “I circulate money” “I am worthy of the best” ….because what you place behind the ” I AM” my loves, is most profound for your abundance.
  3. I started to pay myself first not just buying things but saving and investing.  10% minimum – no matter where that money comes from.  I command the money, it does not command me. It works for me!

I know that as mothers, with so much on our minds to pay for and to do, we often forget that we create our lives.  We feel disempowered by all of the obligations, but I am here to tell you that you both empowering and empowered.  You are empowered and capable of turning your financial situation around, just by how you think about it.  So speak life into your situation and also do the work.  BE INTENTIONAL.  THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND DO. CREATE MORE.  TALK to people about your talents and what you do. LEARN. Never accept something as it just is.   There is always more to the story.  Accept what you want and know you can have, and nothing less!

One of the best things about me is my love of learning. I will literally learn about anything! My journey to understand epigenetics and past life knowledge has done wonders in my understanding of why shifting my mindset now and changing my energy around things that have plagued my family generationally, such as money and wealth, can cause great shifts for mine and my child’s future.  I also understand that remnants of our past lives need to be understood and properly cleared – if necessary – in order for us to live powerfully.  An area of MommyEvolve is understanding our past lives and our generational curses so that we can heal from them of course.   Check out what I have going on with MommyEvolve in those areas.  Connect with me:

FACEBOOK: MommyEvolve-Intergenerational Healing and Self Care

Instagram & SnapChat: MommyEvolve

Sign up here for the newsletter and receive inspiring stories and tips on intergenerational healing and self care.

Healing generational wounds, elevating future generations.
FREE 30 MINUTE SELF CARE and GENERATIONAL CYCLE DESTROYING CONSULTATION! SCHEDULE HERE!

 

 

Is Your broken Inner child speaking or your liberated adult self?

In therapy circles the inner child is known as the original, untainted child self that is innocent, full of life, inquisitive and all trusting.  Oftentimes we hear of the phrase based on the traumatized inner child awaiting healing and attention so she can return to the original inner child.  It is the subconscious part of us.  I’ve noticed that many people still react to things the way their traumatized inner child would.  For instance, I would spend money I didn’t have thinking “I deserve this” or “I can have this because I worked really hard” (usually said about food but also money).  Or you’ll see neediness, attachment issues,  tantrums and excess impulsiveness – general child like thoughts and behaviors that manifest in adults.  Essentially unhealed inner child allows people to respond from a child like perspective.  We can also see this in many emotional reactions or interactions with our families and jobs.  We cower thinking that some outside force is our protection and never really built up our safety from within. In short, many of us, as adults,  can still operate from a child like perception and response.  I’ve learned how to identify this and I want to share it with you.  The first thing we ALL must do is become aware of our generational patterns (which oftentimes are perceived by us in childhood, but we are not aware), which are lessons and stories passed on to us about who we are, how we should think, and how we should operate as people.  We usually don’t have a space to unravel  these concepts and work through them.  In order to do this we must ask ourselves several questions when we want to change a pattern in our lives and know that there is something holding us back.  Here are a few:

  1. where did I get this perception of this person, place, event from? Is it from my intuition or a social/cultural and familial suggestion?
  2. why do I continue to experience this same feeling for this specific situation?
  3. what do I need to tell my inner child that she has never heard before so she is satisfied, happy and nourished? (I am safe, I am healthy, I can do anything I want with work and focused attention?)

This is just a starting place for where you can go with the inner child work. I feel this work is essential for our emotional and spiritual health to consider how we operate on a daily basis and whether it is true to a healed self or a hurt self.  A key component to determining this is through the relationship we have with our inner child.

Please visit www.cecileedwards.com for a free 30 minute consultation or to sign up for a power hour coaching session.

Check out the website for other products and services and definitely sign up for our newsletter where you will learn more about healing tips!

 

 

Do parents ever hold their children back?

Children sometimes, oftentimes see change or speaking a family truth as a betrayal to family.  Have you ever had a situation where your child did or said something contrary to what you were accustomed to?  Such as wear different clothes, be different in any way with views and opinions, find different avenues for success, eat differently, or embrace another way of seeing things.  What was your reaction?  Did you embrace it, allowing your child to explore the inner depths of life and self or did you shun it because you simply didn’t understand it?  There are a few things I know are for sure:

  1. Children should explore life in a healthy way
  2. if you don’t allow them or assist them in processing whatever they are interested in exploring, they will figure it out on their own and/or rebel

So, I know many parents want to be closer to their children.  Well, one way is to teach them that you support what they do as long as it is not destructive to the family , themselves or will hurt them mentally, spiritually or physically.  We need to get to the depths of getting youth to analyze their own ideas.  Let’s say your child comes home and wants to explore the GOTH look.  What would you say and how would you react? In years past I probably would have been like “oh, its just a phase and weird”. Now I have the spiritual maturity to compliment my child on being bold enough to explore something that is considered different because it takes a lot of gumption to do that.  Then I’d ask questions like “what solidified your decision explore this feeling?” “what are some of your feelings around these changes?”  You see where I am getting at.  Before you ask, do research and find more information so you are coming from an informed place.  I mean its hard enough to be a kid in these days because there are so many pressures and so much information that confusion is inevitable. So we want to be supportive, not pressure them because of our own expectations and ways of seeing things.  We are living in our children’s time, not our own.

Consider this approach with subjects like college, sexuality, work, money, or whatever comes up. Ultimately, we have to do things a little differently in order to support generations in breaking cycles of the past. This may be one healthy way to start.

I’d love to hear your feedback and perhaps alternative approaches.  Please visit www.cecileedwards.com where you can find various products and services around empowering women and destroying generational curses as well as self-care. I appreciate you for reading.

GENERATIONAL CURSES DEFINED TO DESTROY

MommyEvolveLogo

Hey there beautiful mommies and daughters,

I salute you – all day everyday for what you do, how you do it and your continued fight for yourself and/or your current and future children.

I’ve been asked the question.  What is a generational curse?  I wanted to clear it up and give examples that are beneficial to you identifying them and their destructive patterns.  As we all have things that plague us that we are working to unravel and give and cease and desist order to, sometimes it’s difficult to spot the things that are most troubling to our existence – literally.  Oftentimes these are the things we inherited and know that there is something off about them, but refuse to challenge them because our family and/or community did it and still does it – so it is believed to be the law.  Here is my definition of generational curses:  patterns in thoughts and actions that are repeated over a course of generations that keeps and individual, family and community from living its highest potential in any area of life – financial, health, spiritual, emotional, education, etc.

These patterns lower the overall individual and familial vibration and if left unchecked or under analyzed can destabilize an individual or family, leaving future generations without the tools to tackle the subjects that are most relevant to their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual survival. There are some generational curses that some of us have accepted as a universal truth for our lives. This is the danger of these patterns.  Oftentimes generational curses were handed to us as a survival mechanism. For instance, eat poor quality foods, was something many had to do to survive – unfortunately that survival mechanism persisted over many generations as rule and law.  Many times we will see current generations manifesting this in poor health, overeating, over or underweight, and general lack of awareness of the necessities of their bodies for optimal functioning.  Another example are families that had to work hard for everything and for others and are now dis-empowered from considering the thought that they are abundant in their gifts and can access wealth through entrepreneurship.  Or what we commonly see is people grossly overworked and lacking in confidence in their ability to create something else for their lives. Think sharecropping and slavery as an event that has generational psychological manifestations in how we think, act and perceive ourselves and our wealth.  Other curses are depression, low-self worth, poverty, and fear.  Our families pass these on to us in the subtlest of ways and so it is difficult to identify and call out of the shadows for its proper analysis and release.

Oftentimes certain these negative lessons are passed down to us through our mothers and therefore we miss the opportunity to evolve because doing something against our mothers’ holy words and deeds would seem like betrayal.  It is not easy to unravel what you’ve been taught from the womb.  However we are in an age of awakening and people are seeing that there are patterns that are holding them back from accessing their highest potentials and if left unchecked devalues their bloodline.  The most resistance comes up from challenging these because the support system you have (family) is the very system you are retaliating against.  We know that “old habits can die hard”.  We create excuses as to why it may be easier to just maintain where we are.  However when you consider it how do these generational habits really serve you?

So….what are the generational curses you can identify?  How have they affected you?  Who else in your family blood line perpetuated these symptoms and how did they handle it?  Finally, consider what you are losing out on by holding on to these patterns. Consider what you can gain when you release them.

A whole world of possibility awaits your decision to do something different to and for yourself.  It is not easy, but the support is available. Please visit https://mommyevolve.wordpress.com/business-services/ to schedule a free assessment where we will discover how we can start to dismantle those patterns together.

DISCOMFORT AND A NEW EXISTENCE

This is a conversation that has been in my heart to speak.  If you or anyone you know has been a first generation college student (or anything else) then the understanding of how you are perceived by those who have not attended college in your family and your reality is intriguing to say the least.  When you enter college you are (1) expected to do and know everything from taxes to history from the beginning of time to current events – and after the first semester (2) you are expected to pay everyone’s bills and have  money all the time (3) you are expected to be the “saviour” for your family, whatever that may mean or look like for your family or (4) you are expected to fail.  Yet, the funny thing is that you end up not being respected for what you learn and can actually bring or your personal growth and discovery of your skills and talents (especially if they are not seen as money makers) is not necessarily supported.

I have seen it and been through some of it too.  Well, there are a few ways to look at this. Yes. You are a familial ‘saviour’ and can possibly shift patterns of lack of knowledge that held the family back from achieving, but that may not necessarily show up the way your family thinks it will.  It may require your immersion in one area or with a specific group for a while and disconnect from the family.  It may require the family being open and receptive and listening to new ideas and discussing them instead of casting them aside.  It may require the family changing themselves to adapt.  It will require the student herself to discuss their inner with the family and achieve a deeper understanding of self to live freely in and from others expectations.  Oftentimes we become so shocked by what others have to say about our progress that it stifles and stagnates us.  However we must be clear that every criticism is still a lesson.  But it should not weigh us down to the point of inertia.   Change requires openness, honesty, dedication, clear and concise communication in all languages necessary, and most of all LOVE in your heart towards the meaning of the task you have been given.  This is encouragement to all those seeking to do something out of the ordinary – something defiant to others’ perception of your legacy.

This conversation can be translated to anything one does that can change the trajectory of family (specifically themselves) – starting a business, eating healthier, traveling, marrying differently, loving differently, emotional balancing, wealth building, etc. It may take loneliness.  It will take prayer.  But essentially you must follow your own heart and know that there is a reason for your changes.  Our hearts are never inspired to do something that has no value to humanity and ourselves.

Enjoy your life and don’t be afraid to step out of comfort zones – become a heart that nurtures those who have stepped out of theirs.

~Cecile

Visit http://www.cecileedwards.com to find out more information on intergenerational healing

The conversation with I had with mom.

Through my healing process I have had a life coach.  I participated in various spiritual education processes.  I have also participated in a Healing Intensive via the Womb Sauna.  The intensive was a tipping point.  I was urged to free up my throat chakra by speaking my truth and expressing the hurts I’ve experienced from my mother in order to heal the relationship, express unconditional love (for self and mothers) and grow beyond my own bounds.

I had a script that I practiced with Thema, the Womb Sauna owner and guide through the process.  We practiced.  She asked me when I was going to make it happen and I scheduled it for the next day at 12pm.  I held myself accountable by texting my mom to see if she was available for the day and time.  Before the time arrived though, I tried to talk myself out of it.  I really really did.  I said everything you could imagine to get out of it.  “Its not that serious, I don’t need to do that”, “I can do it another day or reschedule it for another time”…but why did this woman who is so educated, has convos about everything under the sun with others, could not muster up the courage to speak to someone I love about setting boundaries around our communications that are essential to shifting our family legacy.  That is a serious issue that too many women deal with. Power houses at work, stifled at home or vice versa.  It is the double life we can not maintain.  I refused to continue to maintain because it was holding me back…from what?  Not sure yet but I took the risks of self-expression to find out.  Well, I called at 12pm on Tuesday and repeated the script went just like this:

“I am in this process of personal development and part of this process is learning to forgive, speak my truth and be my best self.  Because of this I wanted to speak to you about a few things that you’ve said that have stuck with me in a negative way 1. when I was moving out of your house you said ‘I hope it doesn’t work out so that you can move back in with me’ and 2. ‘recently when you were at my house speaking to David (my husband), insinuating that he would be cheating on me when he travels to Nigeria.’  I was not comfortable with those things being said.”

Her responses were benign and showed that she thought she was being playful.  She apologized. Though I was not looking for and apology because the purpose was to expressing my own feelings with love.  I understand that sometimes we say things we don’t mean.  Through those times we learn to speak more impeccably at other times.  I also came to understand that her own mindset and fears made her express that.  However, my response is also important in showing that I do not speak that way into my own life, and I do not expect someone whom I love and wants to be in my life to speak that way either.  I am humbled by the experience and truly hope other women can have those conversations and create those boundaries with anyone they feel necessary in their lives.  I feel having these convos with our mothers does heal that relationship and shift the generational legacies.  Not every persons conversations will go that well but at least being able to feel you are empowered to express yourself to someone who is so important in our lives creates a movement of positive energy and understanding of ourselves and those we love.  It also encourages our understanding of our children and assists our demonstration of healthy emotional communication for them.

Let’s talk about the conversation you need to have with your mother or anyone in your life you’ve been holding back from expressing your boundaries to.  Email me at momevolve@gmail.com or http://www.cecileedwards.com

Love,

Cecile

 

 

 

 

The Power of recognizing the source of your “personality”

Oftentimes we act in ways that are misunderstood, uncomfortable, stagnant, or “perfect” because of what we were taught.  Many things are a result of our upbringing.  Our childhood reflects much of what we are today.  My personal premise is that many people are still operating from their 5-8 year old selves in emotion.  This is not to blame everything on parents, mainly mothers, but instead to allow a conversation and healing to ensue.  I recognize many of the vestiges presented in the article below within myself and what caused it.  Not that I had an unloving mother, however my spirit and energy certainly called for something a little different than what was offered.  But I still chose well because my resilience is why I am here to assist mothers and daughters in their healing journey.  The journey to heal the vestiges of what I considered an unfulfilling mother/daughter relationship have been a journey to heal foundations of my family bond and has allowed me to build new legacies.  I’ve become empowered through the knowledge and ACTIONS towards shifting the realities.  Read the article below and comment:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201304/daughters-unloving-mothers-7-common-wounds

 

With Love,

 

Cecile

Self care=self love

Ok ladies, self care and self love are one and the same.  When you say you love someone you instinctually want to care for them, feed them, ensure they rest, get mad at them for going to work while ill, etc. etc.  However when it comes to our own well being…..do we fall short?  Have we fallen for our own mental barriers to ensuring we exercise, drink enough water, spend alone time and eat well?  Mental barriers are real so I will not minimize the effects these have on our ability to act. However let’s break down some of the most common barriers and I will also give you tips to get around them.

Barrier #1:  I don’t have enough time.

This is what I found.  There are 24 hours in a day. Subtract 8, that is 16.  8-10 of those are spent at work leaving 6-8 hours for doing something for your self! I am assuming you sleep 8 hours, however I would recommend that if you have trouble sleeping to lay in your bed anyway as this is self-care!  Just one hour….just one hour to yourself, sitting in a bath tub with some epsom salt and essential oils, light a candle and just let your thoughts run.  However, be mindful of what is running in your mind and process it.  Take another 1o mins when you get out of the shower to write in your journal or write while in the tub if you can…..this simple act is self care and will leave you refreshed and take a load off.

Barrier #2: I don’t have money.

How can one build this into a budget?  Personally I feel and have a budget for my self care.  Each pay period, if you put aside 20 dollars to purchase yourself a new body scrub or accumulate funds to get something you would like…that is self care.  If when you have surplus money you pay ahead for your gym membership, that is self care.  However, it is also self-care to cook a new dish, bake a new pastry (using creativity is self care).  Unfortunately our society has put a price on everything….and therefore we feel that we have to pay a price for the simplest things.  Taking a walk outside, jogging outside,talking to a beloved friend or elder, burning a candle or incense and sitting in silence are all cost free.  If you have the internet Youtube has a plethora of yoga videos, etc that will help you relax your mind and spirit.  Another thing I did was to ensure I cut unnecessary spending from my budget and cut bills like high phone bills by calling and asking for reductions in bills for loyalty, etc.  It work!

Barrier #3: I don’t have childcare.

If you build bath time into your regular practice or expect your partner or ask your friends or relatives to assist with children while you take some time to yourself, you have childcare.  Don’t abuse the time they give you, esp. friends and family as i’m not sure how watching the children could be considered abuse with your spouse…but the simple art of asking for what you want is self care in and of itself. Take that time to go sit alone reading a book, writing in your journal and planning your week.

In society we are taught that our womanhood is attached to how much we take care of others.  I used to subscribe to that thought.  However recently I came into the truth that my life and those around me depends on how well I care for myself first.  The effort taken to develop myself has spilled over into my personal and professional relationships in very nourishing ways.  It has increased my productivity, clarity, connection to spirit and over happiness.  This directly effects my seven year old daughter Nubia, who is a reflection of my best or worst self.  Guess which I choose to have her mimic?

MommyEvolve is committed to having women deconstruct their programs about what they think about their self care and how they care for themselves.  We are committed to co-creating with mothers, their most healthy and happy selves.  Through this, children will be better cared for, protected, taught, loved and happier.

To schedule a discovery consultation to build your personal self care plan based on your unique needs, visit: https://calendly.com/momevolve/15min/01-20-2016

With all my love,

Cecile