MommyEvolve

The conversation on diversity, inclusion and equity must more readily include motherhood. Some mother biases include: single mothers, same sex families, working mothers, stay-at-home mothers. perception of mothers of color parenting styles mothers’ work environment capabilities and options women with one child or multiple children mothers of children with disabilities plus sized mothers – just to name a few. The purpose of this blog is not to pontificate or make some grand conclusions about HOW to achieve but instead to start by adding mothers to the conversation at large. We often live with and act on biases we receive from society, family or education. In order to view this topic differently we have to unpack how we view the topic in the first place and actively engage ourselves in questioning our perceptions. What I have observed is that the way we treat and perceive mothers is extended to the children. What are you unpacking? What are you doing to reframe the conversations around mothers? Cecile Edwards, M.Ed, Creative Director – MomEvolve

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“….the father represents the outer world point of view, the collective ideal that pressures women to be wilted rather than wildish. Even so, there is no shame and blame if you have given away the flowering boughs [psychic innocence]. Yes, you have suffered for it, no doubt. And you may have given it away for years, even for decades. But there is hope.” Mommy guilt is the uneasy, doubtful, sorrowful feeling you get for not doing something you’ve been told you ‘should’ or for doing something you think you shouldn’t have done. This guilt causes many mothers to: second guess parenting decisions, over perform or over give in the parenting dynamic sacrificing themselves without expectations or out of fear, not ask for help, feel crappy when we don’t share EVERYTHING! – Hide and have your snack mommas!, never invest in ourselves but instead on the children only, withhold/negate your dreams and goals to uplift the children in their activities, etc., and feel like you shouldn’t feel or act a certain way about an issue or topic related to your child based on social pressures – not your values. These are just a few that I’ve experienced. How does mommy guilt affect you? (more on this later) Woman shame is the feeling that something is wrong with you because of something that has been done to you or you’ve done.  Shame causes women to hold on to secrets that are insidious […]

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Self-Care is always on my resolution list. Happy New Year! Welcome to day 11 of 2019 and day 14 of my personal New Year! While we are celebrating the New Year as a whole, I just celebrated my PERSONAL New Year aka, my birthday, on December 29th and this is the time for ME to reset and revisit my year.   Self-Care is the critical piece of my ALL my resolutions because as I define in my book, self-care is the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual work we do to heal ourselves daily.  Every intention we set, every word we utter, every thought we think is either taking us away from wellness or adding to our wellness.  Therefore, our self-care is integral to our well-being on all levels and the foundation for our goals/resolutions/intentions.  I realize that in 2018 I did some amazing things! I spoke at conferences, started a podcast, nurtured postpartum doula/mentoring clients, took some amazing courses, healed my spirit and some relationships deeply, lost some relationships, traveled to new places and so much more. All of these were goals/intentions I started 2018 with and I nurtured my mind, body, spirit and actions to achieve them! This year, my focus is on even DEEPER self-care by challenging myself to go higher and cross into uncharted territories.  This includes: wealth building, creating legacy, deepening relationships I already have while creating healthier ones, more travel, more uninterrupted self-focus with unapologetic self-intimacy.  (I am smiling so hard when I […]

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Garnering and maintaining energy while keeping up with the many duties that women, specifically busy mothers have to tackle daily can be daunting when the purpose of the duties are for others consumption and perception.  As I grew and became more aware of my power as a woman, mother and manager of my home I realized how certain ideas that had been ingrained in me about keeping my home clean both helped and hindered my own energy and the energy of my home.  Let me paint the scene: “Her house is dirty – how is she letting people come to her dirty house” “She a nasty woman – look at her house” “Keep your house clean or others will look at you like you are nasty” We all heard some variation of these statements growing up and more specifically as adults.  In fact, women often struggle after delivery of their child with the idea of their homes not being clean – not from a perspective that a clean home will enhance their energy but from the perspective that they will be looked at unfavorably as a woman for keeping a nasty home.  We must shift the viewpoint with which we filter many of the lessons we learned as women about our value from judgement of our selves to the power of our roles. Keeping your home clean is essential because a clean home – the primary place of manifestation – […]

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Mothering ourselves can be a bit tricky to navigate.  First, we have to removed the gendered identity of thinking love is a womanly “soft” love.  Instead we have to think of it as universal, ebb and flow, tough and ease – a dichotomy of emotional stances we must build within ourselves in order to grow and develop.  For example, a child doesn’t need an adult to softly speak ‘stop’ when they are about to burn themselves, they need that adult to go snatch them away from the fire.  That is mothering too.  And it also does not have to come through a woman – mothering is the nurturing needed at the moment and it is intuitive, but not always painless. I realized I was mothering myself, not out of an absence of motherly love (though for some that is a starting point) but out of the desire to become who I truly am and to sincerely and earnestly be loved by ME.  Self love and adoration through your intuitive needs is the ultimate Mothering of Self because it requires reflection, honesty and changed behavior and it comes from a universal source that is here to nourish your highest self. When I was determining if I should stay in my EdD program or leave, I decided that I should leave because it was not in my best interest at the time.  My Inner Mother, in all her wisdom, showed me that […]

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